I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
