You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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