went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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