I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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