your room smells of hookers.
And success
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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