We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
