There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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