dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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