i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
