I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
