why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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