oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You left your phone here
Wait...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
