you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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