There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Someone shattered a urinal.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A+ Viking dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
