He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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