he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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