Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize