My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
only you would photoshop your dick
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
