Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
