Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
