OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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