I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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