I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
