it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
