How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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