She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
