you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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