I wanna bring you to show and tell
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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