People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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