You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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