i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
