Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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