next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
