A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
organizing the empties. That sober.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
