I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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