She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
