I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
