Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thank you for not boning my boss.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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