her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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