New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
