Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize