I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
