No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
