Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize