i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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