i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No subtext here. People are naked.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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