I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
