i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we're making bets on your personal life
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
