do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
