Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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