i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
