Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
