we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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