I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
