I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
