I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
