Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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