He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
