Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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